Wow Haven't Been HERE lately :)

Wow... lots to catch up on where do I begin... hmmmm HAPPY NEW YEAR for one I guess... hoping this next one is going to be better than my last 2 lol... lots has happened since my last blog(s) I am divorced now... and have a girlfriend... she is from North Battleford and a sweetie... I am now engaged to be married and we did the official ring thing this weekend... am on holidays from December 15th to January 15th, moving, selling my house and moving into a basement suite... hmmm totalled my car off trying to clear an intersection as the light turned red, girl clipped me coming through on a green... still gotta see where that all turns out... still going to Hope Fellowship MB in Saskatoon, though have not gone there for a while, been going to my fiance's (wow that word sounds weird) church in North Battleford when I am out there, an apostolic church which is pretty cool... I go back to work at Century21 on the 15th of January so have to be all moved in to my suite by then, cool thing is it is only 2 blocks from work... my fiance has 3 boys so instant family, 15, 12 and 8... she is so cool, works as a nurse's aide and loves God... It was a total miracle how we met on cupid.com and amazingly worked awesome. She is a perfect fit for me like God custom built her and me for her. We are both the same age (38) and we are so compatible it is amazing. The big day is going to be August 4th 2007 and we are going to have a small wedding at the Western Development Museum in the little Anglican church there. It is so cool they have an entire downtown street built there, the church being an entire building they moved right indoors and the only one not a reproduction. It seats 24 people, but can squeeze 35 in if some stand... going to have it catered and rental etc. is only going to be $800 which is cheap for a wedding... cool thing is pics can be taken at the old time photography shoppe there and catering is in the restaurant in the building as well so no rain outs... going to be a small wedding with family and close friends... honeymoon will be west edmonton mall fantasy hotel rooms should be a blast. Lots of changes in my life and seems in a lot of ways starting over again but feels so right. Am really excited about how God has been putting this together. I have always wanted a family and to have a ready made one there is amazing.

I can only thank God for His goodness one song I had been singing lots was Blessed Be Your Name, one of the key verses is "You give and take away" it had been seeming that God had been taking and taking away for so long I never ever thought about the giving end, seems all that taking was so that He could bless me and remould me after I was broken and shattered. Through it all I have Blessed God, not that it all has been easy and good and I have kept it together because I have not, but He did, He truly carried me when I could no longer stand or walk. Blessed Be His Name. God is good.

Another song I have been listening to lots is the last song on the disney movie "Cars" It is called "Find Yourself" by Brad Paisley. Here are the words.

Find Yourself
Brad Paisley

When you find yourself in some far off place

and it causes you to rethink some things

You start to sense that slowly you're becoming someone else

And then you find yourself...

When you make new friends in a brand new town

and you start to think about settling down

The things that would have been lost on you are now clear as a bell

And you find yourself,

yeah thats when you find yourself

Well you go through life

so sure of where you're headed

And you wind up lost

and its the best thing that could have happened

Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well

because you find yourself,

yeah that's when you find yourself.

When you meet the one, that you've been waiting for

and she's everything, that you want and more

You look at her and you finally start to live for someone else

And then you find yourself,

yeah that's when you find yourself

Well you go through life

so sure of where we're headed

And you wind up lost

and its the best thing that could have happened

Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well

Because you find yourself,

Yeah that’s when you find yourself.

This song is so powerful to me, because for a while I was so lost, hangin on to Jesus was all I was doing, practically losing my faith for a bit, life had knocked me down so hard was not sure where I was... seemed I had bearings and all together before my marriage break up but your faith is never as crucial as it is when it is tested. This song expresses where I was and where I am now. Sometimes God takes us places and through trials that clean off a lot of crud and sometimes when we lose our way it is really just as well as God needs to sometimes break and crush our hearts before he can use us. But after the breaking and the crushing, there is the remolding and the recreating. Interesting things about this song is that I did find a new friend in a brand new town, who stands with me and encourages me, who helped lead me back to my faith, who encouraged me and showed me that I could love again, that there is such a person is a soul mate and that I can love again and live for someone else besides just living in survival mode. Everything does become clear as a bell as I realize now I had to go through all the bad stuff all the valleys to climb up on the mountain. I realize now that every thing be them bad or good experiences mould us into the people we are today, we do slowly become someone else, that person is Jesus. Our hearts broken become to beat as His does, unconditional love begins to flow where only judgemental religiosity or conditional love once did, gentleness and kindness, real love and joy flow where pain and anger once flowed, in a real sense God has to make the channels of our lives, the bedrock of our river beds cut out through pain so that He can pour His blessings through them. Joy does not cut the bed of a river of life, pain does, and then He can pour out more joy because we are them moulded to hold it. God then can use us to full capacity. In finding myself, I have found my faith again, peace, joy and unconditional love. God has given me the gift of Darcy to show me that His blessings do indeed still flow. God is so Good.

I am still working at Saskatchewan Alternative Initatives as well and will need prayer when I move to North Battleford to find a job as I will be leaving my job of 9 years or so at Century 21. As well if anyone has an extra vehicle I sure could use one while SGI drags their feet lol... any extra hands in moving would be cool as well... Anyways thats a quick update, not sure when again I will be on here again but God Bless until I do.