Face to Face

I am not much of a people person.

Don't get me wrong. I like people ok, once I get to know them, but I am not what one would call an extrovert. I am the guy usually hanging out by himself in the corner, the wallflower at the dance, the loner on the road.

If I was to compare myself to animals socially I am probably more of a lone wolf than an ant.

I don't know if it is just because the way I am built, or the way I have just turned out through my experience with life.

New people, or, rather people that I do not know anything about frankly freak me out.

Don't get me wrong here, I do like people fine enough once I get to know them, some I even grow to love.

I study people for a long time before I just go and meet them for the most part. Some people I can hit it off with right away and others I have to study them for a while until I recognize something I can relate to.

I like studying people. In some instances I can almost predict what some people are going to do next. It is an interesting hobby. Sometimes I wonder if people even know what they are broadcasting.

Let me explain.

I find it amusing to play the highway game. You see someone coming up behind you in the rear view mirror and they haven't put on their signal light to pass you, but you just know by the way that they are riding your bumper, the way they are driving agressively, that they have already broadcasted their next move. You just know they are about to pass because you have studied their behavior. You haven't seen a signal light but you have read them. You just know they are about to pass. I love reading people like that.

Mabey I just don't know how to interact with or read large crowds and that freaks me out. I don't know. I have never been afraid of any man. I have never backed down from a fight.

Am I anti-social? Socially imbalanced? I don't know.

When I get face to face with people I don't know one of two things happens:

a) I get a little weird (I get really jumpy in large crowds)

or

b) They get a little weird (ok mabey not ALL the time)

Jesus had the same problem. People generally fear what they don't understand.

Let me explain...

Some people do not know how to take me and some people are initially a little afraid of me at first glance (I am 6'3, a biker and weigh in at 320lbs from what I understand there are adult bears smaller than me)

As one lady once commented to her family who came to visit "Don't be afraid of him. When we first met Moose we were really afraid of him but then we found out how nice of a guy he is"

I still have a laugh at that one.

I have been called a big teddy bear, a man of God and a gentle giant with a big heart.

I have a hard time seeing myself as any of that but apparently others don't.

I have fought many fights, have won some, lost some. I have left others on the same ground bleeding that myself have been left to bleed on.

I know what I am and what I am not. I try to be real and always try to see things from the other's perspective. Fake people annoy me. I am impressed by realness in real people who are not afraid to be transparent.

I don't know mabey that's because I seem to live my life guarded. I see that in me and it bugs me.

I do want to be transparent and real with all my heart.

Seems Realness and transparency require the courage of a cage fighter. That impresses me. (Not the cage fighter part, anyone can be a cage fighter see Napolean Dynamite the movie)

I have experienced the pain, love, passion, joy and disappointment of life on this earth. It takes me a while to trust, but if you have my trust, I will face the onslaught of Hell with you.

I do know that when I love, I love deeply, when I commit to a thing, I commit wholeheartedly, and when I worship God it is with my whole being. I have experienced that. I Know just by my experience that is what I do.

When I am faced with God I am in a whole different dimension.

I want to be face to face with God.

God is the epitome of Real and like David and Moses I want to see God face to face.

Isaiah Did:

In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the LORD sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple.

Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain he covered his feet, and with twain he did fly.

And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory.

And the posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cried, and the house was filled with smoke.

Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.

Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar: 7 And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged.

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.

John the Revelator Did:

I was in the Spirit on the Lord's day, and heard behind me a great voice, as of a trumpet,

Saying, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last: and, What thou seest, write in a book, and send it unto the seven churches which are in Asia; unto Ephesus, and unto Smyrna, and unto Pergamos, and unto Thyatira, and unto Sardis, and unto Philadelphia, and unto Laodicea.

And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks;

And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle.

His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;

And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.

And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength.

And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last:

I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.

Moses was told that no man can look on the face of God and live.

I want to look on the face of God still. No I am not one of these crazy extreme sports guys who are jumping outta planes with wakeboards. (and they say riding a motorcycle is dangerous)

I do not care if it literally kills me or not. In fact I hope it does.

Yup you heard right. Ok. not physically, like right now.

But I want my flesh, the old nature to die.

The less of me, the more of Him there is.

To literally bathe in the holiness of God free from all pretense, sin, and failure. That is all worth it.

I believe that God is tired of playing games.

He says in Joel "And in the last days it shall be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams; and on my menservants and my maidservants in those days I will pour out my Spirit; and they shall prophesy. And I will show wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth beneath, blood, and fire, and vapor of smoke; the sun shall be turned into darkness and the moon into blood, before the day of the Lord comes, the great and manifest day. And it shall be that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved."

God is tired of His bride playing Church.

I had this song emailed to me today. I found the words to be of particular interest, even though the musical style I wasn't really into. It is called "Bride's Song" by the band Dead Artist Syndrome:

Bride's Song

Words & Music Brian Healy (C)1995

Jesus I love you
But I don't understand your wife
She wears such funny make up
And she always wants to fight
Every time I turn my back
She's waiting with a knife
In a world of black and gray
She argues shades of white

Chorus:
Jesus I love you
But I don't understand your wife
She wears such funny make up
And she always wants to fight

She loves capitol punishment
And nuclear arms
Then screams about the right to life
And the Grand Old Party's charm
She's always burning bridges
Even ones she's standing on
And when I try to tell her
She says with you I don't belong

Chorus

Always hear me complain
And you're listening once more
I know everything your bride's against
But I don't know what she's for
So don't mistake my anger for bitterness and strife
Cuz on bended knees
I'm begging you please
Jesus talk to your wife

Chorus

One more time
Jesus I love you
But I don't understand your wife
When she hears a funny song
It's letters she starts to write
I'll go to my mail box
And I'll end up in a fight
Just because another guy
Doesn't know how to take a joke

Chorus

Brian Healy - Vocals and other midi stuff
David Leonhardt - Guitars, keyboards, most of the midi stuff
Mike Roe - Guitars, BGV
Mark Harmon - Bass, BGV

God doesn't have any more time for our politically correct nicey nicey whitewashed tombs.

He is coming face to face with us.

God is creating a water shed and is winnowing his church.

His Bride will either stare at God and run away or stare at God in run to Him in worship.

Some will just stand there in disbelief.

But everyone will be affected.

Mankind will have no choice but to be real in the light of the One that created them.

To peer into the face of God. Our Father. Our daddy.

Better is One day in your courts Oh Lord than Thousands elsewhere.

Better Is One Day
Matt Redman

How lovely is Your dwelling place,
Oh Lord Almighty
My soul longs and even faints for You
For here my heart is satisfied,
within Your presence
I sing beneath the shadow of Your wings

Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere

One thing I ask and I would seek,
to see Your beauty
To find You in the place Your glory dwells

My heart and flesh cry out,
For You the living God
Your spirit's water for my soul
I've tasted and I've seen,
Come once again to me
I will draw near to You
I will draw near to You

Will we draw near to God or run away?

I want to cast my crown onto the glassy sea in exchange for His Robe of Righteousness washed white as snow with the blood of our Saviour.

To feast with the author and finisher of our faith.

To look upon our Redeemer's face and say Thank You.

That is our reward.

That is what is real.

That IS Reality.

I have to go and get ready. I hope you are too.


My brothers below seem to be on the same wavelength. Check out their blogs here:

http://coffeewithgod.blogspot.com/
http://consumingflames.blogspot.com/