Been a while since I blogged. Seems I have been on a dead run all this week.
Been a very interesting week spiritually.
Last Saturday was not my finest hour, I feel I blew it spiritually in a lot of areas.
Seems God gives us just enough rope sometimes to hang ourselves.
He lets us run our own race until we run smack dab into the wall of sin.
Only when our noses are smarting from face planting into the wall of sin that He finally has our attention.
Guess if we are never broken He can never restore us.
Living this cycle of victory-sin-repentance-victory et al gets weary after a while.
Sometimes I just wish God would just fix me up, just for a while and leave me to heal a bit before He calls me to something else.
But I guess that is not what faith is about.
I have done some body building in my life and I know that the first while when you are working out (approx. a month) you feel like a Mack truck ran over you.
You do not see the immediate benefits through the pain.
But if you persevere you do.
Muscles build, energy comes back, a general feeling of well-being and healthiness comes back to you.
But it ain’t fun at first.
Its breaking the old habits, it is getting through the pain to the payoff.
God I sure would love some payoff spiritually. Ok…I have.
Don’t get me wrong. God has taken me places I have never been spiritually and things have fallen off me in areas of my life like I have never seen in my life.
He has been trimming me like a vineyard dresser.
But Oh man that cutting off of the dead stuff hurts.
What I mean is I would like to see other areas of my life spiritually manifested, things I so long for.
A better financial situation, an end to the loneliness and ache of singleness, a generally better attitude about life.
Seems I just work to live, and live to work, to pay bills and try to survive.
Mabey I just need a holiday…I dunno.
Mabey I need some decompression time to refocus on what is important.
Things have happened this week that really have blown me away spiritually.
- I am angry with my wife for leaving me. Really angry. Really hurt. I did not even know that I was consciously until God pointed it out. Now He is dealing with me on this. He is making me realize I never have fully forgiven her and until I do, it will tear me from the inside out like some bad Aliens movie…I must forgive. I must love her in spite of the pain.
- I have more people around me and in my life who are also going through this. I am not alone. Other men experience similar things. We are walking this out together and I am not alone. I have other men to lean on and who pray for me as I do for them, men who really care about where and what is going on in my life and speak into my life in a very tangible way. For that I am truly blessed. Truly there are great blessings when men dwell together in unity. I am just realizing how deep those blessings are.
- This world and the things that are in it are really not as important as I once thought. I attended a funeral of a colleague who has lost his mother. No amount of money, fame, things, is going to bring her back. We must fix our eyes on what is really important in this life, on what will really last.
- Relationships are the key to Christianity. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. In short, maintain and build relationship with God and then the world. Only through relationships can God’s Kingdom grow.
- Where two or more are gathered, there I am in the midst of them. God said this and as I have gathered with other people this week God has shown Himself true to His word. Monday night at the Junior Youth meeting, Later Monday night at my brother Scott’s place, Wednesday night at Transformations, Thursday night hanging with my brother Joe and getting to know another brother Ryan, in every case God came down and the fellowship was awesome. The Holy Spirit showed up every time and there were exhortations, correction in love, revelation, prophecy, encouragement, repentance or something else God did. What I am saying is that when God showed up, He always did something that when you left the fellowship to head home that gave you hope that yes, you can go on another day and that yes, you met with God through those meetings.
- I cannot do this alone. I NEED God. He is not just a want but a hardcore need. I cannot do this thing called life without Him. When I do, I mess it up and end up in more trouble than when I started. I cannot live this life outside God. It is more painful, more trouble, and way less peace than I want or need. I need the peace and joy of God. I cannot live without Him. I must live in obedience to Him or I cannot live at all.
- I need to spend WAY more time with God than I do. Power and Grace comes from spending time and KNOWING God, not just about Him. Spending time in His Word, building relationship with the Living God is the only way I can become truly living. When I spend time with the world I find I am spending time with death not life. I want to walk in life and peace and joy. This world is promised to pass away. We are not guaranteed our next breath. Through God we literally live and breathe and have our being. I need HIS Grace, God’s Real And Continual Enabling to go through life and become what He wants me to be, not what I think I want to be or think I need to be. I need to be what God needs me to be. Only then can I be truly happy and fulfill my destiny laid down by my Loving, and Sovereign God.
The pain will pass away. This too shall pass. There will be blessings at the end of this all. I will laugh again, I will love again. I will sing again. I must embrace the pain and let it teach me to trust in God. I must not try to avoid it but walk with it, until God removes it from my heart. I must be obedient and walk with His Spirit and let Him lead me where I am to go. God is faithful, He is trustworthy, and He has His very best for us.
Blessings -Moose
(Jer 29:11 NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
(Jer 29:12 NIV) "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."
(Jer 29:13 NIV) "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
(Jer 29:14 NIV) "I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
No comments:
Post a Comment