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Gettin' Outta the Boat

Gettin' Outta the Boat

Well, I'm doing it...I am getting outta the boat.

Yup I am walking onto the water, heading to Jesus, and Stepping out in faith.

Sounds pretty strong and spiritually convincing right now eh?

Couldn't be further from the truth...

Knees are knockin', teeth are chattering, and I'm hyperventalating...

Ok...not quite that bad, but you get the point.

It is a big step to go from the known to the unknown.

Especially when it defies logic or in Peter's case good ol' fashioned physics.

But that is where God is.

He isn't in the boat, He is on the water.

"IF it is you Lord call me get out of the boat"

Geez what a silly question. Man talk about setting yourself up. Very predictable. You almost are on the sidelines shouting "Don't do it man!" You can see EXACTLY where this is going.

Like in horror movies, why is it that when the young starlet hears a noise she doesn't just stay in the safety of the house? Nope. Away she goes to check it out. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb. You just KNOW that is going to happen. You see it. Apparently she doesn't.

Peter didn't. So Jesus did.

Come on out. Man. Now Peter went and done it..had to put his faith where his mouth was.

And that is Exactly where Jesus wanted him.

Then Peter saw the wind and the waves. And started to dog paddle. The mouth that had put its faith were its mouth was was now gargling sea water.

Jesus Save Me!

I think it was more like gurgle, gurgle gasp, JESUS, gurgle, gasp, gasp, SAVE ME!

IMMEDIATELY Jesus reached out his hand. Good thing, because I suspect Peter wasn't treading water very well.

Just a bunny trail here...Seems unusual but a lot full time commercial fishermen don't know how to swim. Weird huh.

I used to room with a couple Newfie guys years ago, and they confided in me that most of them do not go swimming and most don't know HOW to swim. It is just not done. Blew my mind.

Just like a lot of people from the Midwestern U.S. don't appear go to the lake...I asked a buddy of mine what lakes they go to in the states. He commented "Why would you "go" to the lake? What exactly would you "do" there?" Wild.

Imagine being that close to water your whole life and not thinking you might have to get into it someday.

Anyways...BIG bunny trail there.

Point is...walking on the water, me, Jesus, the whole enchilada.

Part of me is like AWESOME! Walking on the water. The cutting edge of faith, another daring adventure, Hooray!

Another part of me is going "Don't do this to me Jesus, I love my nicely warmed up seat in the boat. Hey I had a good place picked out there. I don't care that it is pitching in the wind like a tilt-a-whirl, It is safe here. Or is it?

Jesus is saying "who told you I wanted you to play it safe?"

So this weekend I am hopping onto the water, getting outta the boat, and secretly hoping it froze up since I looked at it last.

And heading to Jesus...

Wish me luck...better yet, pray for me. I just MIGHT need that.

Blessings,
Moose

In Other News...

In Other News...

The Riders Won yesterday against the Eskimos! Man I thought for sure their goose (geese / gooses) were cooked...right down to the wire it was, like a David and Goliath faceoff...right down to the last punt.

See what happened here:

Roughriders v.s. Eskimos Game

After church in the morning, got to spend some time with a couple really cool Christian guys I know (was good hangin with ya Dale and Don)and cheer on the green and white...was a cool way to spend an afternoon, then spent the rest of the afternoon with a couple guys from my church (good hangin with ya Kevin and Tim)watching WWE on pay per view...all in all it was a good day. Nothing too spiritually challenging or such, ('cept the prayers that went up for the Riders to win :) Just hangin with Christian brothers at sporting events...very cool.

Some Hurricane Links

Some Hurricane links:

http://bayoubabble.blogspot.com/2005/09/honeyim-home.html

http://www.nola.com

Links, Links, and More Links

Links, Links, and More Links...

Well here I was starting to add links to my website, cool sites that revealed my interests in music, art, hobbies and beliefs...well...it kinda took on its own life...when I was going through all my bookmarks I realized how much junk I had in there and started cleaning that out, and one thing led to another and well...there is the result, strewn down the side of my blog like so so much exploded spagetti :) Oh well...

And to those leaving comments, I really must apologize, I had to add a word authentication thingy there as I was getting spammed, I myself hate the "try and figure out what the heck that word says and type it in things" but it was a necessary evil...guess thats the day and age we live in...protect yourself or get spammed back to the dark ages...

Well...thats it...no super spiritual blog tonite...just a bunch of links, good spiritually uplifting ones, some serious and some downright silly...but that is what I put together...have fun surfin'...

Blessings,
Moose

What Katrina Can Teach Us - Max Lucado

What Katrina Can Teach Us

Max Lucado-Pastor Oak Hills Church San Antonio, Texas
Excerpted from a sermon preached on 9/11/2005 by Max Lucado.

Who would have thought we would ever hear this phrase spoken on a radio news report in America: "Today, about 25,000 refugees were moved from the Superdome in New Orleans to the Astrodome in Houston."

For days, we've watched the tragedy continue to unfold in Mississippi and Louisiana and, if you are like me, you've wrestled with feelings of shock and disbelief...feelings that, over the last five years, have become all too familiar. We were barely into the new millennium when we saw towers falling in New York City and planes crashing into the Pentagon and the Pennsylvania farmland. We saw bombs over Baghdad and witnessed the ancient land of Abraham become a war zone for his ancestors. You'd think we had seen enough, but then came the tsunamia roaring wave that sucked life and innocence out to sea.

And now the fruits of Katrina. A city sitting in twenty feet of water. Citizens hacking their way onto roofs and helicopters hovering over neighborhoods. Optimistic rescuers, opportunistic looters, grateful people, resentful people--we have seen it all.

And many have seen it up close. Katrina came to San Antonio in the form of 12,500 evacuees. Many of you are meeting them, feeding them, writing checks, and manning shifts. And you, as much as any, have reason to wonder... What is going on here? 9/11, Iraq, tsunami, Katrina. And I didn't mention nor intend to minimize Hurricanes Dennis and Ivan and Emily.

Jesus criticized the leaders of his day for focusing on the weather and ignoring the signals: "You find it easy enough to forecast the weather -- why can't you read the signs of the times?" Matthew 16:2-3 (MSG).

What are we to learn from all of this? Is God sending us a message? I think so. And, I think we'd be wise to pay attention. There are some ! spiritual law lessons that I think God would want us to learn through this tragedy. The first lesson we see is...


I. The Nature of Possessions: Temporary

As you've listened to evacuees and survivors, have you noticed their words? No one laments a lost plasma television or submerged SUV. No one runs through the streets yelling, "My cordless drill is missing" or "My golf clubs have washed away." If they mourn, it is for people lost. If they rejoice, it is for people found.

Could Jesus be reminding us that people matter more than possessions? In a land where we have more malls than high schools, more debt than credit, more clothes to wear than we can wear, could Christ be saying: "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" (Luke 12:15)?

We see an entire riverboat casino washed up three blocks and placed on top of a house in a neighborhood. You see demolished $40,000 cars that will never be driven again, hidden in debris. And in the background of our minds we hear the quiet echoes of Jesus saying, "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" (Matthew 16:26).

Raging hurricanes and broken levees have a way of prying our fingers off the stuff we love. What was once most precious now means little; what we once ignored is now of eternal significance.

A friend and I attended a worship service at Antioch Baptist Church last Sunday night. Several African American Church leaders had organized an assembly to pray for the evacuees that have ended up in San Antonio. Many of them sat on the front rows...dressed in all the clothing they owned: t-shirts, jeans. Their faces were weary from the week. But when the music started and the worship began, they came to their feet and sang with tears in their eyes.

They were rich. Are you that rich? Were all your possession washed away, could you sit! all worship? Would you still worship? If not, you are holding to hinges too tightly: "Tell those rich in this world's wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow. Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage--to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous. If they do that, they'll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life" (1 Timothy 6:17-19 MSG).

Through Katrina, Christ tells us: stuff doesn't matter; people do. Understand the nature of possessions. Be equally clear on:


II. The Nature of People: Sinners and Saints

We see the most incredible servants and stories of selflessness and sacrifice. We see people of the projects rescuing their neighbors, we see civil servants risking their lives for people they've never seen. My wife Denalyn and I toured a shelter supervised by one of our neighbors here in San Antonio. We met a family of some twenty cousins and siblings.

One six-year-old girl told Denalyn about the helicopter man who plucked her off a third story porch and lifted her to safety.

That child will never know who that man is. He'll never seek any applause. He saved her life... all in a day's work. We saw humanity at its best. And we saw humanity at its worst.

Looting. Fighting. We heard stories of rapes and robberies. Someone said, "The heavens declare the glory of God but the streets declare the sinfulness of man." The video footage in New Orleans has confirmed the truthfulness of that quote. Can you imagine not being able to sleep in the Superdome for fear that someone might try to rape your daughter if she went to the restroom in the middle of the night?

We are people of both dignity and depravity. The hurricane blew back more than roofs; it blew the mask off the nature of mankind. The main problem in the world is not Mother Nature, but human nature. Strip away the police barricades, blow down the fences, and the real self is revealed. We are barbaric to the core.
We were born with a me-first mentality. You don't have to teach your kids to argue. They don't have to be trained to demand their way. You don't have to show them how to stomp their feet and pout, it is their nature... indeed it is all of our nature to do so. "All of us have strayed like sheep. We have left God's paths to follow our own" (Isaiah 53:6).

God's chosen word for our fallen condition has three letters- s-I-n. Sin celebrates the letter in the middle. "I". Left to our own devices, we lead a godless, out of control life of doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it" (Ephesians 2:3 MSG).

You don't have to go to New Orleans to see the chaos. Because of sin, the husband ignores his wife, grown men seduce the young. The young proposition the old. When you do what you want and I do what I want, humanity and civility implodes.

And when the Katrinas of life blown in, our true nature is revealed and our deepest need is unveiled: a need deeper than food, more permanent than firm levees. We need, not a new system, but a new nature. We need to be changed from the inside out. Which takes us to the third message of Katrina:


III. The Nature of God's Grace: Inside Out

Much discussion revolves around the future of New Orleans. Will the city be restored? Repaired? How long will it take? Who will pay for it? One thing is for certain: someone has to clean her up.

No one is suggesting otherwise. Everyone knows, someone has to go in a clean up the mess. That is what God offers to do with us. He comes into sin-flooded lives and washes away the old. Paul reflected on his conversion and he wrote: "He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people, washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit" (Titus 3:5). Our sins stand no chance against the fire hoses of God's grace.

But he does more than cleanse us; he rebuilds us. In the form of his Holy Spirit, God moves in and starts a complete renovation project. "God can do anything, far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us." (Ephesians 3:20 MSG).

And what we can only dream of doing with New Orleans, God has done with soul after soul, and he will do so with you, if you let him.

The most disturbing stories from the last week are of those who refused to be rescued. Those who spent their final hours trapped in attics and rooms regretting the choice they'd made. They could have been saved. They could have gotten out... but they chose to stay. Many paid a permanent price.

You don't have to pay that price. What rescuers did for people on the Gulf Coast, God will do for you. He has entered your world. He has dropped a rope into your sin-swamped life. He will rescue, you simply need to do what that little girl did, let him lift you out.

I mentioned my visit to Antioch Baptist Church last Sunday night. A local minister, Pastor L. A. Williams gave a message on this one verse: "But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord..." (Gen. 6:8).

The minister helped us see all the things Noah could not find because of the flood. He could not find his neighborhood. He could not find his house. He could not find the comforts of home or the people down the street--there was much he could not find. But what he could find made all the difference. Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. Noah found grace in the eyes of God. If you have everything and no grace, you have nothing. If you have nothing but grace, you have everything.

Have you found grace? If not, I urge you to do what that little girl told us she did. When the rescuer appeared on her porch, she grabbed him, closed her eyes, and held on. That's all you need to do. And if you never have, and would like to, I urge you to reach for the hand of your rescuer, Jesus Christ.

Your Redeemer lives, too. This hurricane was his tool to get your attention. Trust in Him while you still can.

Max Lucado, © 2005

Surrender

sur·ren·der v., -dered, -der·ing, -ders.

v.tr.
To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or compulsion.
To give up in favor of another.
To give up or give back (something that has been granted): surrender a contractual right.
To give up or abandon: surrender all hope.
To give over or resign (oneself) to something, as to an emotion: surrendered himself to grief.

Law.
To restore (an estate, for example), especially to give up (a lease) before expiration of the term.

v.intr.
To give oneself up, as to an enemy.

n.
The act or an instance of surrendering.

Law.
The delivery of a prisoner, fugitive from justice, or other principal in a suit into legal custody.
The act of surrendering or of being surrendered to bail.
Restoration of an estate.
[Middle English surrenderen, from Old French surrendre : sur-, sur- + rendre, to deliver; see render.]

SYNONYMS
surrender, submission, capitulation. These nouns denote the act of giving up one's person, one's possessions, or people under one's command to the authority, power, or control of another. Surrender is the most general: “No terms except unconditional and immediate surrender can be accepted” (Ulysses S. Grant).

Submission stresses the subordination of the side that has yielded: “Our cruel and unrelenting enemy leaves us only the choice of brave resistance, or the most abject submission” (George Washington).

Capitulation implies surrender under specific prearranged conditions: Lack of food and ammunition forced the capitulation of the rebels.


Surrender
Written by Marc James

I'm giving you all my heart, and all that is within

I lay it all down for the sake of you my King

I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights

I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

(chorus)

And I surr-ender all to you, all to you

And I surr-ender all to you, all to you


I'm singing you this song, I'm singing at the cross

And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss

For the sake of knowing you the glory of your name

To know the lasting joy even sharing in your pain

© 2000 Vineyard Songs (UK/Eire)

Album: Surrender/Vineyard

God is Good

God is Good.

Well...I have no choice, He backed me into a corner and I have to admit it.

God is Good.

Ok...granted it was not the hardest thing to admit to as I am a follower of Jesus... (ok...honestly it was...)

But lately I have been struggling with that...

Been wondering where God is at.

A marriage of 15 years down the tubes, a wrecked financial situation as a result, a house in need of repair with 20 years worth of mortgage to go, and a life alone...

(ok, not REALLY alone, God counts but read on...)

Yup, was really wondering where God was...

It looked like I was going through this all my my self, after all every day, I have to get out of bed, and make my life happen.

No one else is going to go to work for me, no one else is going to pay the bills, no one else is going to take responsibility.

Just me.

(oh yeah, and God)

With out Him I really would be in trouble.

Probably be staring at this screen through a whisky bottle or worse through a cloud of pot smoke...but I digress...

Oh, yeah, but God is Good...

Had a really bad day last week and came home all depressed about my situation when God tapped me on the shoulder and said hello.

A wise man once told me:

"It is not that you will fall down, because we all will fall down."

"It is the direction you are looking when you get up that counts."

I looked to Jesus and He was there.

He knew I needed to feel His presence and He showed up.

He did a miracle to boot...

Wow...humbled

In spite of my lack of faith, in spite of my unbelief, He showed up.

The King of Kings and Lord of Lords in MY livingroom.

...and in my heart.

God is never less, God is never more, God is enough.

He custom meets our needs in our exact situation precisely how we need to be met.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Exactly what we need.

Yes, God is Good.

I didn't die today...

I didn't die today...

I should of though, it would of been a lot nicer.

I know emotions are part of being human, and that God implanted them in our makeup, but I really wish I was Captain Spock from Star Trek some days.

Some days I just wish I did not care. Then I would not hurt. But then I would be unable to love.

In the immortal words of the band Nazareth "Love Hurts"

When it is broken it is painful. Today I felt that pain.

It has been a rough day and I did not walk it out in faith.

Instead I have relied on the old tapes, the old protective walls and gear.

I gave into the "old man" and that old man is a hurting unit.

I really wish I would of died to self today and kept focused on God. It would of been a much prettier sight.

Or would of it been?

Honesty with God...hmmm

I could ACT like everything is AOK, that I have my life together 24-7...

The Bulletproof monk...

But then I become something I despise, fake.

My desire to be real and transparent, but most of all righteous and to live my life with integrity HAS to over ride my desire to act like I have it "together"

So I am going to be real. I am choosing to share my reality with God. I suspect He is bigger than my pain.

My favorite person in the Bible shared his intimate pain.

David did with us.

David did with God.

David got depressed, David got angry, and David lost hope.

But he knew who to go to to get help, to repent to, and to change his life around.

Honesty with one's own self is critical.

"Know Thyself" but more importantly Know God.

David said some really bad things, pretty discouraging things, very disturbing things

The same guy who depressed and down told God that he wanted to smash the babies of his enemies against the rocks in Psalm 137 (not David's finest hour by the way):

Psalms 137 1 By the waters of Babylon, there we sat down and wept, when we remembered Zion. 2 On the willows there we hung up our lyres. 3 For there our captors required of us songs, and our tormentors, mirth, saying, "Sing us one of the songs of Zion!" 4 How shall we sing the LORD's song in a foreign land? 5 If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand wither! 6 Let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, if I do not remember you, if I do not set Jerusalem above my highest joy! 7 Remember, O LORD, against the E'domites the day of Jerusalem, how they said, "Rase it, rase it! Down to its foundations!" 8 O daughter of Babylon, you devastator! Happy shall he be who requites you with what you have done to us! 9 Happy shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock!

...was the same guy who cried out to God in repentence in Psalm 51 with one of the most beautiful prayers in the Bible:

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence, and take not thy Holy Spirit from me.

...was one of the most vivid worshippers of the old testament in Psalm 107:

O give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures for ever!

I desire to be real with God. To tell Him not just the good but the bad as well.

God is bigger than our anger, our pain, and our sin.

That is why I run to Him.

I have no choice. He is the only one who can do anything about this mess of a life.

I didn't die today.

I let my emotions rule me instead of God.

I didn't die today.

But God understands and forgives me anyways.

In the midst of pain there is mercy.

Praise be to God.

Face to Face

I am not much of a people person.

Don't get me wrong. I like people ok, once I get to know them, but I am not what one would call an extrovert. I am the guy usually hanging out by himself in the corner, the wallflower at the dance, the loner on the road.

If I was to compare myself to animals socially I am probably more of a lone wolf than an ant.

I don't know if it is just because the way I am built, or the way I have just turned out through my experience with life.

New people, or, rather people that I do not know anything about frankly freak me out.

Don't get me wrong here, I do like people fine enough once I get to know them, some I even grow to love.

I study people for a long time before I just go and meet them for the most part. Some people I can hit it off with right away and others I have to study them for a while until I recognize something I can relate to.

I like studying people. In some instances I can almost predict what some people are going to do next. It is an interesting hobby. Sometimes I wonder if people even know what they are broadcasting.

Let me explain.

I find it amusing to play the highway game. You see someone coming up behind you in the rear view mirror and they haven't put on their signal light to pass you, but you just know by the way that they are riding your bumper, the way they are driving agressively, that they have already broadcasted their next move. You just know they are about to pass because you have studied their behavior. You haven't seen a signal light but you have read them. You just know they are about to pass. I love reading people like that.

Mabey I just don't know how to interact with or read large crowds and that freaks me out. I don't know. I have never been afraid of any man. I have never backed down from a fight.

Am I anti-social? Socially imbalanced? I don't know.

When I get face to face with people I don't know one of two things happens:

a) I get a little weird (I get really jumpy in large crowds)

or

b) They get a little weird (ok mabey not ALL the time)

Jesus had the same problem. People generally fear what they don't understand.

Let me explain...

Some people do not know how to take me and some people are initially a little afraid of me at first glance (I am 6'3, a biker and weigh in at 320lbs from what I understand there are adult bears smaller than me)

As one lady once commented to her family who came to visit "Don't be afraid of him. When we first met Moose we were really afraid of him but then we found out how nice of a guy he is"

I still have a laugh at that one.

I have been called a big teddy bear, a man of God and a gentle giant with a big heart.

I have a hard time seeing myself as any of that but apparently others don't.

I have fought many fights, have won some, lost some. I have left others on the same ground bleeding that myself have been left to bleed on.

I know what I am and what I am not. I try to be real and always try to see things from the other's perspective. Fake people annoy me. I am impressed by realness in real people who are not afraid to be transparent.

I don't know mabey that's because I seem to live my life guarded. I see that in me and it bugs me.

I do want to be transparent and real with all my heart.

Seems Realness and transparency require the courage of a cage fighter. That impresses me. (Not the cage fighter part, anyone can be a cage fighter see Napolean Dynamite the movie)

I have experienced the pain, love, passion, joy and disappointment of life on this earth. It takes me a while to trust, but if you have my trust, I will face the onslaught of Hell with you.

I do know that when I love, I love deeply, when I commit to a thing, I commit wholeheartedly, and when I worship God it is with my whole being. I have experienced that. I Know just by my experience that is what I do.

When I am faced with God I am in a whole different dimension.

I want to be face to face with God.

God is the epitome of Real and like David and Moses I want to see God face to face.

Isaiah Did:

In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the LORD sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple.

Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain he covered his feet, and with twain he did fly.

And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory.

And the posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cried, and the house was filled with smoke.

Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.

Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar: 7 And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged.

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.

John the Revelator Did:

I was in the Spirit on the Lord's day, and heard behind me a great voice, as of a trumpet,

Saying, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last: and, What thou seest, write in a book, and send it unto the seven churches which are in Asia; unto Ephesus, and unto Smyrna, and unto Pergamos, and unto Thyatira, and unto Sardis, and unto Philadelphia, and unto Laodicea.

And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks;

And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle.

His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;

And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.

And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength.

And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last:

I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.

Moses was told that no man can look on the face of God and live.

I want to look on the face of God still. No I am not one of these crazy extreme sports guys who are jumping outta planes with wakeboards. (and they say riding a motorcycle is dangerous)

I do not care if it literally kills me or not. In fact I hope it does.

Yup you heard right. Ok. not physically, like right now.

But I want my flesh, the old nature to die.

The less of me, the more of Him there is.

To literally bathe in the holiness of God free from all pretense, sin, and failure. That is all worth it.

I believe that God is tired of playing games.

He says in Joel "And in the last days it shall be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams; and on my menservants and my maidservants in those days I will pour out my Spirit; and they shall prophesy. And I will show wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth beneath, blood, and fire, and vapor of smoke; the sun shall be turned into darkness and the moon into blood, before the day of the Lord comes, the great and manifest day. And it shall be that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved."

God is tired of His bride playing Church.

I had this song emailed to me today. I found the words to be of particular interest, even though the musical style I wasn't really into. It is called "Bride's Song" by the band Dead Artist Syndrome:

Bride's Song

Words & Music Brian Healy (C)1995

Jesus I love you
But I don't understand your wife
She wears such funny make up
And she always wants to fight
Every time I turn my back
She's waiting with a knife
In a world of black and gray
She argues shades of white

Chorus:
Jesus I love you
But I don't understand your wife
She wears such funny make up
And she always wants to fight

She loves capitol punishment
And nuclear arms
Then screams about the right to life
And the Grand Old Party's charm
She's always burning bridges
Even ones she's standing on
And when I try to tell her
She says with you I don't belong

Chorus

Always hear me complain
And you're listening once more
I know everything your bride's against
But I don't know what she's for
So don't mistake my anger for bitterness and strife
Cuz on bended knees
I'm begging you please
Jesus talk to your wife

Chorus

One more time
Jesus I love you
But I don't understand your wife
When she hears a funny song
It's letters she starts to write
I'll go to my mail box
And I'll end up in a fight
Just because another guy
Doesn't know how to take a joke

Chorus

Brian Healy - Vocals and other midi stuff
David Leonhardt - Guitars, keyboards, most of the midi stuff
Mike Roe - Guitars, BGV
Mark Harmon - Bass, BGV

God doesn't have any more time for our politically correct nicey nicey whitewashed tombs.

He is coming face to face with us.

God is creating a water shed and is winnowing his church.

His Bride will either stare at God and run away or stare at God in run to Him in worship.

Some will just stand there in disbelief.

But everyone will be affected.

Mankind will have no choice but to be real in the light of the One that created them.

To peer into the face of God. Our Father. Our daddy.

Better is One day in your courts Oh Lord than Thousands elsewhere.

Better Is One Day
Matt Redman

How lovely is Your dwelling place,
Oh Lord Almighty
My soul longs and even faints for You
For here my heart is satisfied,
within Your presence
I sing beneath the shadow of Your wings

Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere

One thing I ask and I would seek,
to see Your beauty
To find You in the place Your glory dwells

My heart and flesh cry out,
For You the living God
Your spirit's water for my soul
I've tasted and I've seen,
Come once again to me
I will draw near to You
I will draw near to You

Will we draw near to God or run away?

I want to cast my crown onto the glassy sea in exchange for His Robe of Righteousness washed white as snow with the blood of our Saviour.

To feast with the author and finisher of our faith.

To look upon our Redeemer's face and say Thank You.

That is our reward.

That is what is real.

That IS Reality.

I have to go and get ready. I hope you are too.


My brothers below seem to be on the same wavelength. Check out their blogs here:

http://coffeewithgod.blogspot.com/
http://consumingflames.blogspot.com/

So Amazed

I am blown away God.

I am amazed by Him. Not by what He has done, not by what He is going to do, but HIM.

I am amazed by a God whose love transcends all dimensions, time and space and yet FEELS.

When our mouths burst with praise, His heart rejoices.

When our hearts break with worship, His heart cries out to us.

A God who knows our every hurt, every happiness and our very being.

A God who calls us by name.

A God who answers by fire, and yet calls us in a still small voice.

What a God!

He designed a way to have fellowship with us and when we messed it up, it was HE not us who designed the solution to repair our relationship.

He sent His son.

Not one of our sons, HIS son.

So that we could have fellowship with Him.

Amazing.

He no longer calls us servants, but Friends, joint heirs with Christ.

And HE did all the work.

What did we do to deserve THAT?

Absolutely nothing.

He should of toasted us like so much marshmallow on an open fire.

But He didn't.

I can see what I would do in a situation like that. I would of zapped all those no good things I created. What heartache, what a disappointment. Good thing I am not God.

Mercy? No way. My creation rebels against me? I think not. That's it, Pack it in humanity, you are done. Fini, the End, Hosta La Vista Baby.

But not God.

While we were yet sinners Christ died for us. What kind of a God is that?

wow.

While we were cursing Christ on Golgotha, nailing God's boy, His pride and joy to a rough wooden cross, mocking Him, beating Him and tearing His body apart...

God whispers "this is how much I love you."

amazing.

A God who literally left EVERYTHING to come down here and die for us.

Voluntarily.

But that is the thing that most amazes me.

His love.

The embodiment of Love. The very nature, the very source, the very essence of love.

"I am that I am"

And He is.

Expectancy in life

Expectancy...

Another name for hope, waiting with baited breath for some opportune moment, person, or thing we believe will appear.

I am expectant tonight. I am expecting the Saskatchewan Roughriders to give their heads a shake and actually WIN a game...MABEY I am shooting just a LITTLE high, but That is what I am expecting.

I am expecting to hang out with my bros CWG and Firestarter for some solid guy time in the Word with God and each other and fellowship as we hang out where ever that may be...

I expect God to always be there for me whenever I need Him.

"I will never leave you or forsake you" He says.

I expect Jesus is going to come back like He left.

Faith itself is evidence of things not seen, expected for even though not present.

I guess you could say Christians are supposed to be expectant people.

In the midst of trouble we sometimes expect the same results we had before we became Christians / became too logical / became too hurt / became broken people.

But..Thank God HE doesn't work that way.

"I will never leave you or forsake you" He whispers.

Thank You Jesus. I expect you to have the best for me and I have faith you will see me through.



I sure do hope the Riders win :)

Miracles and the Wonderous

Miracles

What defines a miracle? Are miracles every day occurances or something that only happens to the spiritually elite? The Lucky? The seeking?

I am learning to find miracles in every day little things to the largest things in life.

I am blown away that Airbus A340 accident on August 3rd 2005 at Lester B. Pearson Toronto airport did not claim any lives. As AOL.CA reported:

Air France said 22 people were injured, while Toronto airport officials said 43 were hurt. The wreckage of the jetliner smoldered Wednesday near a busy highway in what a Paris newspaper called ''The miracle of the Air France Airbus.''

At Air France headquarters in Roissy, France, airline chairman Jean-Cyril Spinetta praised the crew.

''I don't know if we should speak of a miracle ... but above all the professionalism of the crew,'' Spinetta said Wednesday.

Whatever Spinetta believes, yes this was a miracle on a grand scale. The chances of anyone escaping a fiery plane crash are usually slim to none.

What makes us believe that miracles don't happen?

Lack of faith that someone other than ourselves intervened on our behalf? Refusal to believe in the supernatural? Failure to acknowledge the miraculous?

What constitutes a miracle?

I submit that a miracle is anything that we as humans could not control, predict for, manipulate, or create. A miracle is something we know deep down inside could not of been swayed one way or the other by human intervention.

It is a brush with a purpose and design far above our mortalism.

It is a brush with God.

From the airbus A340 to the stars flung into the sky, to the miracle of conception, to the miracle of daily life, waking up every day still breathing, we are all touched by the miraculous every day.

God says that life is a miracle. We were knit in our mother's womb by His hands, He knows every hair on our heads, we can hardly state that. He calls every star by name. Did you ever try to count the stars? Try. When you lose track of where you started, and you will, remember he calls each by name and keeps track of every single one. Even NASA cannot even boast of that one accomplishment.

Every day we will be impacted by the miraculous if we will peer through the eyes of wonder and faith.

Max Lucado is a favorite author of mine and he said something that really impacted me to this day (my paraphrase)

A miracle is about to happen. As you hit your alarm clock and stagger into your bathroom to meet the day a miracle is about to happen. As you stand and your eyes begin to focus on the unshaven unkempt visage before you a hallelujah chorus has just been intiated, angels are singing and rejoicing and God is pleased. His image stares back at you through the mirror and He says of you "This is my son with whom I am well pleased! This is my child, my pride and joy and I am so very happy with how I created you!"

A miracle has just happened. Did you see it? His fingerprint just was visible. His creation, His idea, His miracle.

Every breath is a miracle from God. Every day we have to impact our world is a gift from the hand of God. How are we going to use that? How do we respond to something that wonderful?

Luke 11:33-35 says, “Your eye is a lamp, lighting up your whole body. If you live in wide-eyed wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. Keep your eyes open, your lamp burning, so you don’t get musty and murky. Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room.”

Albert Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as if nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is.”

If I were to ask if you’ve ever experienced a miracle I’m guessing that, depending on your definition, some of you would say “no.” I beg to differ.

By the time you finish reading this you will have inhaled and exhaled approximately 250 times. And most of you won’t give it a second thought, but I want you to stop and consider the journey of an oxygen atom.

The journey begins when air passes through your nose where unwanted dust and debris is filtered out.

For what it’s worth, the average person moves about 440 cubic feet of air per day. Air travels through the trachea and into the lungs. The surface area of your lungs is forty times greater than the surface area of your body—compressed within the tiny space between your ribs. The oxygen atoms then hitchhike with hemoglobin and travel throughout the entire human body via blood vessels. If those blood vessels were laid end to end they would be approximately 100,000 miles long. The blood vessels in your body could wrap around the equator four times! At the end of the journey, oxygen enters individual cells, bonds with the food we eat and releases energy. Biologists call it cellular respiration.

In his article “The Miracle of Breath,” James Robinson writes, “Webster's Dictionary defines a miracle as ‘an extraordinary, unusual wonder or marvel.’ Isn't a bloodstream 100,000 miles long, in a small body, an unusual wonder? Isn't the journey of an oxygen atom a true marvel? We don’t need supernatural events to experience a miracle. All we need is breath. The human breath is Sacred. Cherish your breathing: it is the miraculous gift of life.”

Acts 17 says that God “gives all men life and breath.” Job 34 says that if God were to withdraw his breath we would return to dust.

The bottom line is this: every breath we take is miracle. The average person takes approximately 23,000 breaths per day. That means you owe God about 23,000 thank yous every day!

We are surrounded by miracles, but we have a choice to make. We can live as if nothing is a miracle. Or we can live as if everything is.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.”

Yes, God is a God of Miracles. Look for them through the eyes of your faith and you will find them.

Faith

Faith.

I have been searching this out in my heart lately.

"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come", Jesus said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:28-31)

I have to admit, I am more of a "wind and the waves" person than a powerful man of faith.

Peter said "Lord if it's you," seems in times of wind and waves I have a hard time seeing Jesus.

Peter did. If we are all honest we all do at some time.

Caught in the eye of the storm everything looks a little more scary.

But still Jesus says "Come", get out of that boat and get out on the water. I want your faith.

Notice that Peter asks to come out of the boat first. He knows he wants to be with Jesus, he knows that Jesus is his only hope in the storm. He wants to be where Jesus is. But when he sees the wind he sinks.

How often do we ask Jesus that we want to be closer to Him, that we want to experience more of God and the Holy Spirit in our lives and then when He calls us out of our boats of safety we cry out in fear and start to sink.

I do. I cry out to God to know Him more, to experience Him deeper, and then when He starts trimming off the dead branches of my faith, and starts to test me I cry out "why is this happening to me?"

Yup, I am sheep.

I may be intellectually smart. I have even been to Bible College, I know about God. But when it comes to faith I am dumb like a sheep. Seems it is like faith short term memory loss.

I have it. And so did the Israelites.

No sooner did they get released from captivity for some bonehead sin as a nation, then they would get back into the same mess and away they went back into captivity again. Only football has more turnarounds than Israel did.

They were sheep too. I am in good company.

Moses was a sheep. At the burning bush he argued with God that He had the wrong guy. I st-st-stutter Moses said. God said thats ok. Still going to use you.

David was a sheep. Killed a man, took his wife. Yikes. Big screw up. In the running for head sheep. But a man after God's own heart.

Noah was a sheep. Build an ark in the middle of a desert. Man he must of thought he was nuts some days. But he built it anyways and mankind was saved.

Elijah was a sheep. He had just seen God send fire from Heaven and he had just killed all of Jezebel's false prophets. And there he was hiding in a cave. But God used that man to turn a nation around.

Yup all sheep. But God used them.

They didnt have the Bible on tape, the Torah on their Palm Pilot, or even a Messiah that had shown up yet.

But they had faith.

When everything was flying around them, when they were in the midst of the wind and the waves, they knew exactly who to cry out to.

They knew who to go to fix the mess they were in.

Like Jesus, God must of shook his head and asked where their faith was. Silly Sheep.

We know who to go to, we know where God is, we know where He wants us to be. There is a Reason Jesus is called the Good Shepherd.

Why do we struggle with staying there? Why can't we stay focused on Jesus? What is it with the wind and the waves that distracts us from our faith?

Mabey that is the point. "In our weakness is His strength."

God is teaching us day by day, knocking out from underneath of us any and all things that we lean on instead of Him, leading, guiding and correcting us. Shepherding us.

Every time He knocks another crutch out from underneath us, we protest "Hey! I was using that!"

But He quietly and gently, and lovingly whispers in our ears "Yes, now lean on me"

What are my crutches? Do I lean on money? A job? My intellect? My friends? My church? My family?

Or do I lean on the one who flung the stars into place, who calls me by name, who knit me in my mother's womb, who knows every hair on my head and who holds me in the palm of His hand?

The same God who holds the keys to death and hades, who is forever without end, who never fails and who loved me enough to die for me is the same still small voice who called Peter that night to come onto the waves and who calls me to believe and not doubt, who when I do immediately reaches out with His nail scarred hands to catch me.

This is the same God who calls Himself Yahweh-Jireh(Our Provider), Jehovah Raffi(Our Healer), Yahweh-Rohi (Our Shepherd), Yahweh-Shalom(Our Peace), Yahweh-Shammah(God is There) and El-Roi "God who Sees me" or "God of Vision" (Gen. 16:13). The God sees needs of His people and responds.

Now that is a God I can have faith in.

I am not much of a writer

I am not much of a writer.

In fact, I don't write much at all. I find it difficult to express myself in the physical written word.

I am still in fact, trying to figure out how to approach this whole blogging thing.

Do I use humourous euphemisms to present my life to the world? Should I be straight laced and serious only pausing to punctuate my verbage with antecedent colloquialisms? Am I to be real and transparent or peer under the cover of anonimity and toss out verbal grenades?

I really do want to be real in my heart of hearts, but fear of knowing oneself, or even more terrifying letting others know me permeates my writing.

Share my testimony? Yes. I can do that. Share my feelings? I am not as certain. That leaves me to be vulnerable. Vulnerability now that is a subject isn't it?

Vulnerability. Lowering our shields just enough to let others in. Giving others access to ourselves, our heart of hearts, letting ourselves exchange love and compassion in order to recieve love and compassion and any with that the ability to be hurt by those we open ourselves to.

Choices. Well we can become a hardened bunker and not let anything in. Sitting in our bunkers we can peer out at the world but not interact with it. A lonely pointless existance to say the least.
No passion, no love, no interaction with life. No interaction with God probably. No interaction with people most likely.

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing." --From Macbeth (V, v, 19)

Choices. We can let ourselves be vulnerable and let others (and God) in. Trusting. owch. But isn't that how Love works? We trust others not to hurt us when we give them our most valuable possessions. Our heart. Our trust. Our faith.

Can we trust God. Well sure. Can we trust another person. Ah there's the rub.

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Matthew 22 37-39

Be Real. That is the challenge. Anyone can be plastic. Anyone can be pretentious and superficial. Most people are experts at this craft. "How are you doing today?" "Fine" Keep on walking. We seem amazed and even sometimes a little "put out" when someone ACTUALLY tells us how they are really doing. "Hey you can't do that" you are responding outside of my superficiality. I am just ASKING how you are doing. I don't REALLY want an answer you know.

I am guilty of this. I am also guilty of not telling people how I am really doing. I have a friend who asks me how I am doing every time we get together. He keeps hoping I will honestly say "Excellent" "Awesome" "If I were doing any better I would be twins" (ok mabey not the last one) but ANYTHING but "fine" "good" "hanging in there" though more realistic and honest answers than saying I am doing good when I am not really, they keep the shields up don't they?

How does this relate to blogging? Being real. Larry Norman says that his most heartfelt desire is that his "performances" playing music from his heart would be real. Not performed, but shared. Performance at its heart is plastic-y if there is indeed a word like that. The desire to be real. That is my heartcry. I am tired of "fake" people. I am tired of being "fake" I want realness. In realness is truth.

Mabey that is what this whole blogging thing is right? People in search of realness and truth reading about people sharing realness and truth. Seems there is such a shortage of this in the world that mabey blogging is an avenue for that. To see that our lives are mabey not as bad or better than others. To get inspiration and motivation from other people's experience.

My journey continues...

Perceptual Reality - Roy Williams

Earth's population reached 1 billion persons in 1804, 2 billion in 1927, 3 billion in ‘59, 4 billion in ‘74 and 5 billion in late ‘86. And on October 12th, 1999, Earth's population surpassed 6 billion.The number of passengers on Spaceship Earth has doubled (from 3 billion – 1959, to 6 billion – 1999,) in 40 short years.

At the beginning of a philosophy class a professor stated "Each of you will sit in this room for 3 days and hear the same information presented in precisely the same way. But you'll leave here having had an entirely different experience from the persons on your left and your right. You will connect different dots, have different epiphanies, make different associations. Objective reality will be the same for each of you. But your perceptual realities will be yours alone."

There are 525,948.766 minutes in a year. This means that each minute, the 6 billion of us experience a collective 11,408 years of perceptual reality. And each day we live a collective 16,427,455 years. *Check math below...

Given that we lived nearly sixteen and a half million years yesterday, it seems like one of us would've figured out how to end poverty, crime and war, doesn't it? (Personally, I was really busy, so I was counting on you.)

Perceptual reality is yours alone.

Every door of opportunity begins as a window in your mind.

Look through that window of imagination and glimpse a world that could be, someday. Keep looking… Be patient… And watch it grow into a door of Opportunity through which you might pass into an entirely different future.

Opportunity never knocks. But it hangs thick in the air all around you. You breathe it unthinking, and dissipate it with your sighs.

Opportunity never knocks. It appears, flickering, like faulty neon at a nondescript fork in the road.Opportunity never knocks. It whispers, a tickle in your distracted mind.

So what are you going to do? Will you sleep, unaware of the miracles that need your assistance, or will you open your eyes, look through that window, and begin doing what only you can do?

Roy H. Williams

*6,000,000,000 (persons in the world) divided by 525,948.766 (minutes in a year) = 11,407.9553 years of perceptual reality experienced each minute, x 1,440 (minutes in a day) = 16,427,455.6 (years of perceptual reality in a day.)

To Hell and Back Again...A Spiritual Journey...

My friends call me Moose.

I was born in a little town of Carrot River Saskatchewan. I was raised in a physically abusive alcoholic home, with my mom and my two brothers, and her boyfriend a Canadian Navy man. I started drinking at the age of ten. I learned how to swear like a trooper, take beatings and pain, and not show emotion, because real men are tough. I thought this was normal.

When I lived in Ridgedale, Saskatchewan, my first experience with church was in the Arborfield Anglican church where I attended where I was baptized and confirmed.

I attended my grandma's United Church in Carrot River when we moved back there and sang in the choir and was in the youth group but could never seem to see God as a relevant, life force impacting my life. He seemed to be a dead person and the whole of the church as dead as He was.

I saw God as a far off entity that I could never be holy enough to reach, and who seemed to take joy in the hellish life I was living. My mother soon left her abusive boyfriend and I began to rebel. Anything remotely related to God I came at abusively.

I became enthralled and learned all I could on the topic of Evolution. It made sense that we were animals because that is all I saw of human life. I left home as soon as I graduated from high school and moved up to Thompson Manitoba to meet and get to know my biological father. I worked at Inco and my drug life worsened. I met a lady and her daughter whom I raised as my own and had a somewhat normal life except for the drug use. I found that I became just like my mom's boyfriend, in violent outbursts and chronic alcoholism, and I started dealing narcotics.

I went through the local dry out center twice, was in AA and NA but to no avail. Every time I got to turning my life and my will over to God as I understood Him, I saw the father figure I grew up with, and I projected my ideas of him onto God.

Fearing me, my girlfriend left and things got worse.I lost everything I owned except for the things on my back and was on the street. I lived at friends places but always got kicked out of everywhere because of drugs or my alcoholism. I hitchhiked out to B.C. with a buddy of mine and slept in Laundromats, in ditches, under vehicles etc., stealing food to eat, I was really at the end of myself.

One night as I lay outside Chilliwack, by the river, it was a clear night, a full moon, stars were out, the light from the moon glistened over the mountaintops, as the glacier river trickled by, and as I lay there, hadn't eaten in days, I remember thinking, looking up at the beauty that surrounded me, the this just didn't happen, someone had to have created all this. The moon, the stars, the mountains, it was all too perfect to have been created by chaos. I remember saying to myself, man, there just has to be a God.

Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy.

I went to check an old bank account to see if I had any money, even a couple dollars to buy a donut or something and to my surprise someone had deposited 25,000 into my old bank account and then removed it leaving me 300 dollars. I knew I didn't have 25,000 and that I didn't have anything owing to me, so I took the money and bought some food, and some drugs to sell. I ended up back in Thompson Manitoba, and was about to sell my drugs when I got busted and arrested for possession. When I got out, I found that I had applied for welfare months before and it had been approved. Apparently I had an apartment that the City of Thompson had paid for while I was gone to B.C. So now I finally had an address.

I got back into dealing and found out that I had UI coming in from my work at INCO so I got back into the lifestyle I had before I was on the street drinking, drugs, but now with a new twist. My friend had introduced me to Satanism.

I was listening to Slayer, and a plethora of other bands and became intrigued with the Satan, his power and living my life the way I wanted to at any cost. Jesus told us a new commandment He gives unto us: Love the Lord with all your heart, with all your mind, and all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Satanism's first commandment was Do what Thou Wilt. If it felt good do it. If it hurt anyone so what. I would routinely call on demons to do my will and they always complied with a price. Satan delivered "miracles" fast and in any way I wanted faster than God to keep me in his hand. He furnished my apartment, got me women, and all the drugs and booze I could get my hands on in return for my soul.

I became involved with the local bike club called the Mud Brothers although I did not become a member I started hanging around with them, partying with them, and doing drugs with them. I bought a my first Harley a '74 Sportster and picked up my love of riding again.

Satan is the father of lies and had me believing I would reign with him in Hell and we would control this world together. Boy was I wrong.

One night after a satanic ritual, I came home and looked in my mirror. I still to this day do not know if God allowed me to see into Satan's realm, or if Satan got bold enough to show his true intentions. I have never feared any man. I have been able to fight my way out of any confrontation with people. I say this because fear was not a big thing in my life until that night.

Instead of seeing my bathroom in my mirror, towel racks behind me with towels, etc. I saw into Hell. I saw Satan laughing at me. Satan was more than just visible, he was beyond visible, his appearance was lost in the evil that surrounded him. Just as someone had written words in the sand in gasoline and lit them, the words YOU FOOL burned into my mind. I was left reeling. Why was Satan laughing at me? Where did that leave me. I was Afraid for the first time in my life, really afraid. I knew in the back of my mind at night when I was alone and in bed, that if there was a Hell, there had to be a Heaven, for Satan to exist, God must. I knew I was in trouble. I was running from Satan.

At this time I met a lady named Marianne. She was a backslidden Christian I fell head over heels in love with. She was so totally different than anyone I had ever met. Satan wanted me to use women, but this one I wanted to keep. We fell in love and one day I sat up in bed and decided that I was tired of drugs and alcohol. I still didn't have God.

My Grandfather wrote me a letter to see if I would come visit him in Saskatoon and included the funds to come see him. I went down to Saskatoon, and on the way back stopped in Carrot River to visit my family. I hadn't seen them in years, and the only time I talked to them was Christmas times when I would phone all drunk longing for home.Turned out that they had moved. I had to find out where they lived and when I found out where they lived I found out in short order they had all become Christians! I was the black sheep of the family and was the only one on the outside.

Marianne gave her life back to Jesus while we were out in Carrot River and she persuaded me that we should move to Carrot River to be close to the family. She had ulterior motives so we packed up an old 76 Mercury Marquis and trailered an old 70s van to Carrot River with all of our stuff. Looking back Satan really didn't want us to go. 3 hitch pins and 20 hours later we got to Carrot River on a trip that should of only taken us 10 or so.

Mom had gotten re-married to a wonderful guy who treats her like a queen and they graciously allowed us to live in a trailer on their property. Mom has a gift of discernment, is a real prayer warrior and would go through bouts of Satanic attack where she would wake up in the night with invisible hands trying to strangle her. She knew we had been into something. She asked if we would move into our own place as she tried to reach us.

She would find articles on "bikers" to show us to try and convince me that bikers could be Christians. I didn't think they could that I was too bad to be a Christian because I was a biker. She would show me pictures of Jerry Savelle with short hair in a Christian Reader magazine sitting on a Goldwing. Now, understand that a real biker sees Japanese bikes as Jap Scrap, only real bikers ride Harleys, then Triumphs, then BMWs. I do not see things that way now. That short hair...I remember saying that's not a biker, that's a nerd Christian on Jap Scrap. That's not a biker! We got in a big fight and I stormed outside.

Later, mom came outside and apologized for the fight, and explained she just did not want me to go to hell. She wanted her son in heaven with her. I remember telling her that I was walking down a street with shrines and buildings representing different religions and I know that the little church at the end of the street is there, and I promised her if I ever do go into that little church I was going to do it all or nothing. God told her that I would come to Jesus soon.

My brother meanwhile had been on the road touring with a band called Jack Jackson Ministries. He had been asking everyone along the way, wherever he went to pray for his brother named Steve. I was number one on his "hit list" and as he went he collected testimonies of different individuals he met along the way. He later went on to play with Double Portion in the same capacity. Kel found two tapes, one of Ed Brouwer, who was the president of I.C.B.A., and Doug Stadnyk, a brother in Saskatoon. I listened to both of them, both from outlaw biker groups, and found out that yes, bikers can become Christians. Doug Stadnyk's tape had a copy of his prison photo and I knew that he was the real deal. The excuse that a biker cannot be a Christian was settled. I still fought it though, until one day, my dad asked me to come over to listen to a Walter Martin tape.

Walter Martin was a real man of God who wrote Kingdom of the Cults which is required reading in most Bible Schools. This is a man of God who died on his knees in prayer, Spirit filled and Holy Ghost empowered.While I listened, Walter Martin talked about demon possessions. I had never believed that possessions were possible and if they were it was only in Hollywood or that a person who was trying to control a demon may have been to weak and MAYBE became possessed.

As I listened two things warred within me. I felt somehow that this man, his words were the truth. I felt it somehow. I also felt that if this was the truth, I was in serious trouble. I immediately asked my dad to go outside and talk to me.I was scared. I was running from Satan, but where to? I couldn't run to Krishna, he was there, I couldn't run to Buddha, he is there, Satanism was out of the question, and I had no other options. I asked dad what to do. He said How about Jesus?

HOW BOUT THAT JESUS, for the first time it made sense, if He really conquered Satan, He could protect me. I knelt down at the picnic table beside my stepfather because I thought the only way to meet God was on my knees. Out of sheer fear, and need for Jesus to be my shield and my protector, I asked Jesus to come into my life and make me new. I had finally accepted Jesus as my Savior.

When I finally opened my eyes I felt like I had been whacked over the head by a two by four, as I hung over the bench, the grass was greener, the sky was bluer, the sun was warmer on my face. My dad asked me if I wanted to renounce Satan's hold on my life and I said yes. He led me in a prayer of renunciation when I told Satan in the name of Jesus I renounce you he started choking me out. My dad started praying and commanding satan to let go of me and then the words spilled out. I felt something tear out of my body and leave. Satan lost a hold that day August 12th 1991.

Mom and Dad discipled us and stuck though all the hard questions, what we should and shouldn't be doing, and really helped us grow. I started going to an M.B. church in Carrot River. It was really hard to get used to people hugging you all the time, I always checked my back pocket in case I was getting my wallet pinched...It took a while to figure out all the christianese, and I found out that I should get married to Marianne if I was living with her.

We got married September 9, 1991 in my moms living room attended by dad, and a Justice of the Peace. About this time, I began to wonder if there were other bikers like me. I tried to get a hold of someone who knew about Doug Stadnyk and hook up with other bikers in Saskatoon. I found out about a group I.C.B.A. in Saskatoon International Christian Bikers Association. I hooked up with them and started riding with them doing ministry and reaching the seemingly unreachable.

We moved to Saskatoon, became members of I.C.B.A. I became filled with the Holy Spirit while I was at a Four Square Church just after we moved to Saskatoon during the beginnings of the Vineyard movement. I started work in Saskatoon and in 1993 had a bike wreck. I was mad at God asking Him why this happened. God showed me an through an analogy that I still hadn't dealt with the way I viewed my Harleys. I slept with my motorcycles in my bedroom, they spent the winters in my living rooms, my owners manual was called my Bible. I still saw Japanese motorcycles as Jap Scrap. God wanted nothing between Him and me. Whether God allowed the bike wreck to happen through Satan or not, I found out that God disciplines his children. I now see motorcycles just like other vehicles that God blesses us with, and Japanese bikes as brothers in the wind. Two wheels are always better than four though :)

Myself, and two other bikers started Open Arms Fellowship, which became known in Saskatoon as "The Biker Church" We had felt the sting of other conventional churches who couldn't relate to Bikers and street people in their churches so we decided to start a church where anyone could feel accepted and loved. We ran that for about 5 years. I presently go to a Spirit filled Mennonite Brethern church called Hope Fellowship Church in Saskatoon.

I was moping around one day and heard a sermon on how shepherds deal with lambs that don't stay with the flock. This is not a common trait but it does happen. The shepherd takes the lamb, or so I am told and snaps their front legs so they cannot walk away. He then nurses them back to health in his arms by the fire, and they will never leave his side again. In my bike wreck, I had only my left leg broken, I should of been dead. God reminded me that He let that happen to discipline me. He had removed the Harley from my life, and He had drawn me close to Himself.

In 1994 I was asking God what to do. My job wasn't going well and I felt spiritually out of sync. I remember worshipping Him on my couch in the Spirit with my guitar and all of a sudden I was in the heavenlies. God asked what was the desire of my heart. I told Him to follow Him and go to Bible College. When I came out of worship the phone rang I had been invited to go to Bible College, the phone rang again and a friend phoned to tell that if I was interested in Bible College he found a place for us. Talk about a miracle.I went to Bible college for two years, Marianne for three, and with the money from insurance from the bike wreck we bought a house, and I bought another Harley.

The Refiners Fire...

The motorcycle group I.C.B.A that was in Saskatoon eventually fell apart, my wife ended up with another man and my spiritual life was tested like it had never been before. After 15 years of marriage my wife decided to leave town with another man, leave me and all the debt and go on the run. This shook me to my very foundation, everything I believed about God, marriage, relationships, faith. My church at Hope Fellowship surrounded me with such love and prayer and the men of my church kept tabs on me to make sure I was ok. I have to admit, if I did not have my church family at that time, my real family too, I am not sure where I would of been. It seemed as if everything I held onto religious snapped off me everything I had put my trust in except Jesus snapped away until all I was left with was Jesus Christ and Him only. I explain it this way, there was this photo I once saw of a Harley Davidson ad as they moved back to Kevlar belts for their drive and were trying to convince people that belts were good again. They had this striking photo of a Heritage Softail I believe it was held up in the air by a single thread of Kevlar to a crane and something to the effect of something this tough you can have trust in... That was basically where I was, the only thing that hadn't snapped away was this thin thread of Jesus and instead of a motorcycle at the end, that was me.

I started drinking again after being sober since 1991 and got drunk a few times. This really scared me as I remembered the road I had been down earlier in my life. I decided that the bottle was not going to win and then started really throwing myself into church activities and the Jr. Youth group at my church. I immersed my self in the church and the more I did the stronger I got. A couple years later and after much healing I decided I wanted to see what was out there as far as a ladyfriend. The divorce had basically gone through, my ex had moved on with her life and I decided it was time to move on with mine.

I started putting my profile up on cupid.com to see what was out there. After a few strange encounters I decided that the online dating thing was not working out and was going to take my profile off. That same day a beautiful lady from North Battleford contacted me and we decided to meet. We have been dating since August 2006 and she is a beautiful lady with an even more beautiful heart and 3 boys. At the time of this writing we get married August 4th 2007 in a church wedding in a little Anglican church in the Western Development Museum. She goes to an Apostolic church in North Battleford and I will be moving out there after our marriage.

It seems that everything Satan meant for evil, God has restored. I lost my marriage, God gave me the lady of my dreams, I lost my house, I will be moving into hers, I totalled my car off before Christmas, I have another car, I still have to find another job out there, but I know that is all in Gods hands as well. In the Apostolic church they need guess what? Junior youth workers lol... God is so good. A buddy of mine out there also runs a street outreach ministry and jail ministry and that is where my heart is. God loves bikers and street people and God had impressed upon my heart that we do not have much time to reach the lost. The fields are white unto harvest. Jesus commands us to go.

Been a while since I updated this blog.

This is where I am at today... a testimony is never static but active and I am sure there will be more notes as my Christian life goes on. As for now I am still in my boots for Jesus, my heart is still for Biker/Street Person/ Youth Ministry and now I will have another partner to walk with Jesus and this though with. God is so good.

God is a God of restoration and second chances. That is what and who He is. God is the very essence of Love. He loved us enough to send His son to die for us and His son, Jesus loved us enough to forgive us from the cross. His blood removes sin if we will but accept His precious gift and receive Him into our hearts. Jesus conquered death taking the very keys from Death and Hell and Rising up from the grave. Jesus is alive and His tomb is empty. What a mighty God I serve. If you want to find out more about Him click the links to the right especially Who Is Jesus Really. Thanks for taking the time to read this. God Bless you.

Moose